The Crushing

I am on a journey… it is a crushing like I have not felt in a very long time. I was told yesterday that I am “scattered”… I could not agree more.

I am going through deliverance and the breaking of soul ties. Intense… my normal “be still” areas cause anxiety. The more I am pressing in the more the attacks come.

I am blessed that God has surrounded me with a team of leaders, believers and “knowers”. Those who challenge me, keep me accountable, keep me lifted. Those who sit and listen, hear me and pray with me. I could not do any of this without my love relationship with Jesus Christ our Lord and Savior.

I know when God opens the door and contact is made with the lady who was by my side when I got saved… I know that is The Lord sending in recruits from hundreds of miles away, it’s getting real… it’s going to get harder. The Lord used her as a vessel to show He is always with me.

Some of you already know this but for those of you that don’t… I am an expresser (is that even a word). I blurt out all the things… I feel like I open my mouth and this huge wave of everything I keep inside comes rushing out. Things that have laid dormant for up to years, decades. The tidal wave is overwhelming at the moment.

I resisted the enemy … praise be to God!!! That was yesterday, the day before that and the day before that.. Believing the same for today.

God wins… choosing Him over the world is hard, lonely and at times heartbreaking. Being obedient to Him and His will is a daily, hourly, by the minute the circumstance choice.

I am grateful for those who listen… time is valuable so I appreciate it when given. I do not mean to be difficult and stumbling but God is revealing the areas where I am immature in my walk and need to grow. My humanness gets me every single time… thank you to those who guide, correct and even get frustrated with me as I falter and stumble backwards… 

I am a construction zone, I am a work in progress, I am a blubbering mess in this season. The Lord is softening my heart, emptying me out so I may be refilled with Him!

Thank you for being on this journey with me. Your prayers, love and support are priceless.