Have to tell you, this is my third attempt at writing this. It keeps disappearing … which solidifies just how important this message is and the enemy does not want it being shared.
Back in October at the beginning of this journey with my daughter, Katie Rae, she asked me to document and share “everything”. I even reiterated to her “everything”? Which she came back by looking me dead in the eye and repeated “everything, hopefully my story will help others”. Honestly, in that moment I thought we were only talking physical health. Now, I realize it is so much more.
As I have said so many times during this entire journey with her…. “I was not prepared” and this time has been no exception.
I am starting off by saying, confidently and comfortably saying, everything I am sharing has been documented, recorded by the medical professionals…again documented AND reported to the necessary agencies. This will take a few parts to write in entirety so please bare with me.
Part of my testimony when I got saved was the fact I was raised to be a liar. Not just by the enemy but by those who should have been teaching me quite the opposite. I would be praised for lying well and punished for not lying well enough. Unfortunately, that did not stop with me. Back in 2018 Katie Rae shared she hated how she got rewarded for how well she would lie to me…by the exact same people who rewarded me for good lies. Only exception was… they recuted new members.
In the hospital Katie shared the thing she hated the most were all the lies and manipulation. She is terrified of them taking her son away from her, not of anything of her wrongdoing but…she has seen first hand the depths of their lies. What they are willing to do or say to get what they want. Worse yet. The army that surrounds them… the army that is willing to lie on their behalf.
See, in all honesty, I didn’t truly understand the “true” depths of a lie. It was not until my Spiritual Mentor shared with me that it cost Jesus the same amount of pain for a little white lie as a murderer. To this day that sends chills down my spine. Lying by omission is a lie. Yet how often have we just shrugged off a situation because we were not asked the question directly?
As I sit here and reflect on the six things the Lord hates, seven that are detestable to him. The lying tongue, hands that shed innocent blood, hearts that devises wicked schemes, feet that are quick to rush into evil, false witness who pours out lies, man who stirs up dissension among brothers… I check myself. Then my heart breaks for my daughter whose heart is to attend Ministry School. To serve the Lord. She proclaimed it, spoke it, asked for it. If it is His will for her life, it will come to fruition as long as she is obedient. No man, no lie can stop it…
As I am remembering we are not fighting flesh and blood. I know the dark worldly things that are in play here. Spiritual Warfare is real people. Please do not fall for the lie that it is not. I would not be where I am today on my walk with the Lord had I not been open and willing, obedient to having a Spiritual Mentor. Surrounding myself with Kingdom minded warriors. This has not been an easy journey. It has been very lonely, I have had to lay down a lot of worldly things. I have been made fun of, even by Pastors for being a teetotaller, among other things. I am not perfect, I am not carefree and I do not always have peace and joy. I try my best to not be judgemental but I fail at that as well. I am a work in progress.
So as I sit here and share our story. I am reminded that it is a journey. As difficult as it is, especially in this moment not knowing if she is ok…God knows and He is watching everything and everyone. He is lining everything up. Just like me leaving. I keep thinking this is the day, then it’s not. Waiting on His timing not mine.
The biggest thing that is becoming the most evident in this season is how many people truly love and care for my daughter and my dad… your love and concern for them brings me to tears. It hurts my heart that Katie Rae is not able to experience the joy and love you are trying to share with her but there will come a day that the truth will be revealed and she will be so grateful. I truly wish I would have videoed her face when she received your cards in the hospital. The joy, surprise and just awe of how truly loved she is…. Please don’t give up trying..
Love you all
Blessings
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